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I just hit the limit on my crappy mobilebroadband i have on my laptop. The result is they have lowered an already to low speed even lower the rest of this mounth. I get back my normal speed 1 may 2010. Until then my ability to be here on vr are limited.

Today i was at a meeting with a company. And i now have got a 5 week long practic there. If that go good the chance to get job there is high. So guess if i will work hard for it. :) i will give everything for it. Gonna be fun:)

It is so easy to sit and wonder why i dident do that or why i took a sertain decide before. But guess what. It is no point in thinking that way because the decides you took before you took after how it looked back then. It always is so easy to sit down later and feel sorry for own mistages because it later turned out to be wrong. My economy is in chaos at the moment, But that is my own faulth because I dident saved more when I had the chance to do so. I do know it is so easy to just sit and feel as shit for things maded before. But why not stand up and fight the way back on track and tell all here iam? Well that take some efforts to do. But they who don’t even try to make an effort is not worth to feel sorry for eigher. Do that sound hard? Well the world is hard and cruel and nothing is ever free. I have so much respect for they who have it hard but who don’t give up. Who contain to fight their way thru their problems. And I try to do the same myself.

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dabbler
16:58 Apr 18 2010

This is the exercise in self inspection that advances character to correct such short comings. Writing it out, with an honest pen.

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It is ironic how marriage can change people in most silly ways. How it can change their personality so much. I cant understand that. And to tell the truth it is tragic. I had a friend. Yes i said "Had" who was a friend in every way. He and i had alot of fun. Then he meet a girl and not long after i get the invite to their wedding. On the weddingparty i was shocked because nothing of it portrayed his personality, it was 100% after hers wishes and how she is. It really took me with surprise. Even other feeled the same i heard after. I feeled the whole wedding to be fake and i feeled sorry for him. Feelings noone should have on a wedding of all days. I left the wedding early because it wasent my friend it was his wifes wedding as i seen it. Some weeks later i visited my friend at his house and that was even more shocking to me because the person i once had called my best friend was gone. Infront of me was a person i nolonger knowed. Everything had changed and things he and i did before that was fun like watching a good movie or whatever friends doing was no longer good in his eyes. His damn wife had somehow maded him to dont like anything of his old interests. Even got him to be active in a church. Anyhow it is his life. But i dont longer see him as a friend, i see him as a total stranger theese days.

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MyArmyLife
15:51 Apr 14 2010

I wanted my husband to stay exactly how he was when we got married.

Instead, as soon as the ring went on his finger and we got home, he turned into a monster.

Now, all of a sudden, I'm fat, I'm a loser, I'm easily replaced. He's physically and emotionally abusive.

They put me back in the barracks to get me away from him.

Thank god for divorce.

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Now the kinda rough period is close. The summer. The only great thing with summer is fishing that i love. But other then that i prefer winter. Some dont understand why. But for me who dont is somekind of an model i find summer a rough period because i cant hide in clothes that i feel 100% comfortable in. Far to many people concern on how others looks etc etc. I try to ignore all that but sometimes it just feels some look on me and that not feels good. Im not to fat but im not small so well im bigger then what is seen as normal weigh so to speak. It is same for they who are to small to. So many people think so damn much on over how other people looks. Why not just live and try have some fun in life instead for concern so much on how others looks and doing.

I love to drive my car. Especially at nights and alone. It is relaxing. A good song to listen on is also nice. :) I recorded an little roadmovie.

Is it wrong to want to be an part of something even outside in the so called real world? The few friends i have, have all builded family and all that. I dont really feel i longer fit amoung them. So im kinda alone and noone to really talk with longer. But yet im happy o be free to. hmm it is correct every coin have 2 sides.

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Oceanne
18:27 Apr 12 2010

Heck yes its good to have 2 sides to the coin..and the more coins you have,the more sides.:)

It is sad though you feel as though you dont fit in with your emcumberd friends.hopefully you will find new ones that you DO fit well with.

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